Freelance lemmings go Komando

I've never been a Kim Komando fan--too much Microsoft cheerleading, and computer talk makes for crappy radio regardless--but there's no question that she's succeeded in carving out a lucrative geek niche.

However, I darn near puked on my dashboard this morning as I pulled into the parking lot for a meeting, and a new radio ad piped through my speakers: Komando is now shilling for Associated Content and Helium, content mills extraordinaire, as a way for aspiring writers to Get Published!!! and Get Paid!!!

Mind you, I am a red-blooded capitalist. Frankly, I don't give a damn about the existence of the content mills, because they're so far from providing quality that I don't consider myself to be in the same business. And I don't begrudge Komando's ability to leverage her "personality" into a payday.

I just hope all of her fanboy/fangirl lemmings realize what they're getting into before they jump the cliff & quit their day jobs to augment the country's already scary unemployment numbers become professional writers. The ad should really come with a Surgeon General's warning rather than "America's Digital Goddess's" seal of approval.

11 Myths of Owning a Small Business

No matter how creative you are, your success as a freelancer ultimately hinges on your abilities as a businessperson. So, the headline "11 Myths of Owning a Small Business" in the Nov. 17 Forbes.com Entrepreneurs Newsletter caught my attention. And, as is always the case in listy-number thangs, I sat down to see how my experiences matched up with their opinions.

My conclusion? It's worth taking two minutes to read the article and another two minutes to run through the slide show, since the text only reveals some of the myths. (Which seemed goofy to me, but whatever.) I found myself agreeing with most, particularly how you can't "do it all yourself" and how risk-taking and passion are often overstated or overrated. Some of the myths don't really apply, such as "you can set your own schedule," but that may be more aimed at the bricks-and-mortar entrepreneurs in the Forbes audience. (Then again, deadlines can surely box you in if you let them.)

By the way, you can sign up for Forbes's free email newsletters in the right-hand column at the link, about halfway down the page. I've found there's usually at least one freelancer-applicable article per issue, sometimes more.

Danger sign: The third wheel

If you could invent a client Geiger counter, the sudden appearance of a third-party consultant would ring it like a freshly unearthed chunk of uranium.

It's only happened to me a few times, but I was reminded of the dangers a few weeks back in a first-meeting conference call. Everything was going swimmingly, until the client offhandedly mentioned that she had hired a marketing/branding expert to help hone her company image.

Uh-oh.

Our creative team gamely put together the folder and brochures on a rush schedule, but the die had been cast. The addition of another party--with a vote on our fate but with whom we had no contact or collaboration--created a process akin to doing microsurgery with mittens on. You just can't do it. We ended up getting paid for our time, but in the big picture, everyone's time was wasted. Ours. The consultant's. The client's. She would have been better off simply hiring the marketing/branding expert to provide the creative materials from the outset.

The moral of the story? The only time a third wheel makes sense is if you're building a tricycle.

Union labeled

During my recent cross-country drive, I listened to as much local radio as I could. One of the shows I tuned into in the Midwest featured an auto industry discussion--and at the risk of oversimplifying things, I'll just say the topic was whether a union should be willing to take across-the-board pay cuts to keep a company solvent. Callers were equally heated on both sides...and at one point, the host said something to the effect that, "I don't know about you, but one of the reasons I go to work is to earn more money every year."

In light of the past few weeks' events, this comment has stuck in my craw. For 10 years as an independent businessperson, my income has ranged widely--up or down tens of thousands from one year to the next. I am subject to the whims of the market and economy as well as the work I put into my business. I'd like to think I'm going to make more this year, but there are no guarantees. I don't get a cost of living increase.

With that perspective, I am astonished at the reality-free zone in which some businesses appear to operate. You're losing money, and the union wants to be insulated entirely from that, to the extent that it could put you out of business? Upper management is often equally complicit, having shown no desire to inject reason into the process as they made promises that they had to have known would be unsustainable.

Epilogue: The radio discussion, as it happens, was about Ford--and several days after my trip, upper management ended up taking pay cuts while the unions made concessions on freezing wages and not taking bonuses. As it should be.

Meanwhile, witness the diametric opposite in the outrageous financial manipulations of GM, Chrysler and our federal government. They couldn't get me to buy their lousy products, so they're extracting the money from me via taxes. Nice business plan if you've got friends in the right place, I guess.

For the record, I am a longtime Ford customer, but that would end the day they take any bailout money.